What exactly does this mean? When one typically thinks of grace, I think it can bring up two different mental images. One being a picture of a ballerina moving beautifully, elegantly, and flawlessly and as if they are lighter than air. The other is simply a vision of God and how He freely loves us; no conditions, no judgment, and just pure love. If I really think about this, then there isn’t much difference in how the ballerina moves and how God loves us – there is an elegance in His love, it is flawless and beautiful.

So when we talk about giving ourselves grace, one could stand to reason that we should love ourselves in this way. We should forgive ourselves for the mistakes we have made. We should look at ourselves in the mirror and love the reflection looking back at us. We should say beautiful, incredible words in talking to ourselves. We should NOT shame ourselves. We should let things go and allow ourselves to feel peace.

What pops out to you in those sentences? The SHOULDS?!? I think as women in recovery, and even women in general, we can “should” ourselves all over the place. I should do that, I should do this. And then when we don’t do whatever it is, we get down on ourselves and berate ourselves. We can be so vicious to ourselves when we don’t do what we think we should, or we don’t look the way we think we should.

What standards are you using to compare yourself? It’s so easy to look at social media, magazines, and TV, and think everyone else is thin, everyone else is happy, everyone else is doing it all, and everyone else is perfect! Why can’t I do it all too? Here’s the truth: NO ONE is perfect. These are the moments in time that things are “picture perfect” for people. The images and videos you see are tiny slivers and snippets into the real life of others. It is so easy to compare our worst moments to others best moments in these cases.

The only person to ever compare yourself to is the one that looks back at you in the mirror. How are you treating yourself? How are you showing up to your life? Do you give yourself understanding and love when you make a mistake like you would your best friend? That is giving yourself grace. Realizing you will have good moments and bad moments. Knowing you will be sad at times and really happy at others. These moments are what define you as the beautiful, incredible woman you are! These moments of grace to understand that when you are vulnerable and show up just as you are, you are growing baby! You are being your true, authentic self and this is where elegance, beauty and love shine brightest! If God gives you grace in these moments, and in all moments, then giving yourself grace is love. Because remember, you are enough just as you are, my graceful beauty! You are enough!